Janelle Carson of Chicago, IL writes:

Hello,

I have read your prayer for “Wayward Husband” and it is exactly where I am in my marriage.  My husband and I were college sweethearts and have been married for 14 years.  We have managed to make a pretty good life for ourselves and our two children. About two years ago, after the birth of our second child, he started to become very distant in the relationship.  I never in a million years would have thought that he would cheat on me, but I noticed that one number in particular started to show up on the cell phone bill.  When I confronted him about it, he dismissed the whole thing and I didn’t see the number again until a couple of month ago. I am tinkering with the idea of calling the number to find out what is going on, but I just don’t know what to do. Would you please provide some Godly wisdom on this?

 Janelle,

Although many of us won’t admit it to ourselves, deep down most of us know when our spouses’ level of commitment is wavering.  As a general rule of thumb, my philosophy is never, ever confront the other woman.  Doing so gives her power that she wouldn’t otherwise have.  It will also deplete energy that you should be putting elsewhere and sends the worse possible message regarding your own self-confidence and faith in God.  You may tell yourself that you are merely seeking clarity or confirmation as to what is going on, but you really already know everything you need to. 

Meaningful and honest dialogue with your spouse will provide a good basis for getting your relationship back on track. If he is unwilling to seek counseling with you or to communicate openly and honestly, don’t internalize his refusal to do so.  Take confidence in who you are, because you are dealing with one of the most hurtful situations a woman can face, yet you are still standing. Never doubt God’s plan for your happiness and success.  Use your energy wisely by praying, meditating on His goodness, and continuing to build your relationship with the Father. And make sure that you do everything in your power to protect yourself and your children.  We will be praying for you and your marriage.

April F. of Chattanooga, TN writes,

I am having extreme financial difficulty.  I lost my job last year.  Although I am working as a temp, I still have not been able to find a stable job yet.  I am divorced and am completely self-supporting.  Why is God allowing me to experience such financial burdens?  Why doesn’t He bless me with a job? 

April,

I will venture to say that we have all experienced times in our lives when we didn’t have what we needed when we needed it.  Many of us have endured financial ruin and recovered with more abundance than we could have ever imagined. I’m sure that you have had times in your life when you have felt blessed beyond measure as well.  Now that you are experiencing this temporary season of financial lack, don’t lose heart.  Jesus Christ came that we might have a life of abundance (John 10:10). Not just materially, but in every sense—spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.  You may not realize it, but this season presents an opportunity to widen your vision of who God is, who you are, and where He is taking you.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for; it is confidence in what we cannot see.  Don’t allow the appearance of lack to cripple your faith and steal your vision of abundance.  Don’t concentrate on what you don’t want, but on what you DO want. Success is never garnered by thinking negatively. Use your temporary job as an opportunity to practice doing small things well, while maintaining the vision of greater things in your mind and heart.  Abundance felt on the inside will surely manifest on the outside, for “out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things” (Matthew 12:35 kjv).

Lisa B., Columbus, OH writes:

My husband and I have been on and off for the last three years. He says he wants a divorce, but always changes his mind and begs to get back with me.  I want to see our marriage restored, but I don’t know if I can take much more of this because I always wonder who is he with while we are apart.  I’m praying for God to restore our marriage but do not know if He will do it for me.

Lisa,

All things are possible with God and there is nothing that He cannot do.  There are, however, some things that He will not do.  God never, ever oversteps another person’s free-will choice.  He will not make your husband love you in the way that you desire to be loved.  Neither will He make him more committed to your relationship than what you think he is. 

God moves within the path of love, and vacillating back and forth is not within that path…it is not the way love behaves. Bear in mind that love requires that two people have the capacity to respond to and recognize the love of Christ in a mature way. Love that is truly anchored in Christ is the transformative power that mends and restores, because when we love in the way that God has ordained, He can work within us to will and do of His good pleasure. 

It is always about our choice to move forward in the things of God or to hold on to things that keep us stagnant in the infancy stage of faith. Your life is not a toy for another’s amusement. Going back and forth may not be the healthiest thing for you or your husband. At some point, either you or he will have to be mature enough to make a decision and stick to it, particularly if there are children involved. Know that God desires the best for you. Pray diligently for the courage and aptitude to figure out what is really in the interest of your general well-being. 

IMPORTANT NOTE: This advice is meant to help the readers gain a more spiritual perspective to the challenges of life.  Its purpose is to increase confidence in each individual's ability to heal through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. It is our hope that it encourages the belief that our Heavenly Father is merciful, powerful, and a very present help. We do not or will not attempt to address clinical depression and other mental illnesses from a clinical perspective. It is important to assess whether your condition should be attended by a mental health professional. Seeking the counsel of your pastor, minister, or spiritual leader, and finding a therapist in your local area might best suit your needs.